A common topic I have been hearing about is friends; how do we make them, what do we expect of them, and how we are all wanting them?
Making friends can be a taunting task. I moved from Utah where we had lived for three years and it felt like I just made friends in the last few months of living there so when we moved to California I was determined to make friends faster. Having children is a good opening to making friends and being involved in church is the other opportunity for friends.
I decided to exploit both. I got on meetup.com and found a wonderful attachment parenting group that has helped me get out of the house twice a week with wonderful activities and places to visit. Neal and I went to all the church activities and I would try to introduce myself to the people I sat next to in Relief Society. Although the ward is very welcoming it still took longer to find friends there. After a lot of prayer I was called to Young Womens. I have loved this calling more than any I have had. Not only do I get to be with the young women I got insta-friends in my counselors. They are wonderful women who make me laugh and feel loved when ever I am around them.
I have heard several people saying that they need friends. That there is a need for more inclusion. If there are so many of us that are needing friends how are we missing each other? Here are some of the reasons I can think of:
The Stay at Home Mom sometimes feels like the Jailed at home mom. Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a SAHM but it can be difficult to get out of the house sometimes from having sick kids, cleaning the house, laundry, dinner, having to convince the children that they do want to go outside, that is would be nice to get dressed to go to the park, that getting into their car seat is not going to kill them.
Needed family time. Once Neal gets home I don't want to be running off right away. We have so little time together that I feel that I need to be spending all the time we have together. I also really like family time. I love listening to Neal and Cedric play. I enjoy reading books together with Neal and visiting about our day.
Work, when I worked I had some social outlet so other friends were as much of a necessity but it is still nice to have a few girls to go to movies with.
The fear of rejection. Will we ever get over this?
Lack of transportation, it is difficult not having a car to get to parks or other activities. When the ward boundaries are like they are in Utah it should not be too hard but here in California the boundaries are much larger and that can make it difficult to get everyone together if there is a lack of transportation
What do we do about this? How much is it our job to get out there an how much it is other people's job to include us?
To be continued
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hmmm very good questions. I've moved so many times in my life that you'd think I'd be good at making new friends. Not having a car does make it very difficult to get out farther than walking distance. I've definitely learned over the years that there are plenty of people who need friends, including myself. It just mostly takes some initiative on our part usually. I have certainly appreciated your initiative in our friendship. :)
Another problem I think people run into if they move a lot is that they don't want to make friends that they're going to have to turn around and leave. Or, like my last ward, there's a huge influx of college students that come and go and not everyone wants to make friends with someone who is going to leave in a year or two. I think we just have to get over that and make friends no matter how long we're going to be anywhere. Easier said than done.
We had that same thing in the first ward we were in when we got married. It was established families and college students. The only time the bishop talked to us was to offer us callings months after we were in the ward. It is sad but I was glad to be moving out of the ward.
I love being your friend!
I remember not having a car and I felt locked inside some days. If you ever need out let me know!
Post a Comment